Note: THis isn’t just a creepypasta, THIS REALLY HAPPEND!
22 september 2013
Hi Im Jesse, I’m one of those kids with swag that totally pwns evryone at CoD. I love CoD btw it’s a awesome game for cool kids like me. I play on xbox becauze playstation is for cucks. (btw the xbox one will kick ass, every1 at playstation is just jealous).
Anyway so i was having a 30 kill streak when my annoying little bro Lee comes in and sais that theres something wrong with his pokemon game. I never played pokemon because pokemon is gay, Cod is l33t. they played pokemon like years ago in the 70′s.
But so yeah my little bro comes in and cries that there’s someting wrong with his Ds. he says that he’s scared, but he’s always a pussy. Last week me and my cool friendz watched all 8 saw movies while my litle bro was cowering behind the couch, haha what a n00b.
So anywayz he comes rushing in with his ds telling me that hes scared and that the game was full wit all kinds of scary pics. So I said: “U noob you ruind my 30 killstreak!” And he started to cry but then i remembered I like scary games so I said: “Give me ur ds, I wanna play that game!”
And he said “No, it’s too scary, it’s not like Pokemon at all! The old man at the garage sale gave it to me!” but I insisted so dat pussy finally gave up his Ds and went to cry in his room. After I played some more cod in which I got like 10 Escort drones I quit my xbox and decided to play the Pokemon game. I took out the cartridge and gasped. It was custom kartridge called:
POKEMON 666!!!1
I was kind of scared but not really u pussies so I started up tha game. When it started, the title screen said NINTENDO 666!! but I didn’t care so i just selected start. WHen I started the game, I could only pik one pokemon, so I picked Tepig cuz at least he has cool fire attacks. Tha frist part of the game waz pretty much like a normal Pokemon game, except I think because I don’t play pokemon like you losers because Cod is much better. So at teh beginning I just had to like fight all these people in battles with these pokemon to get cash.
I was waitin for sum of the pokemon to get guns but they didnt. This game sucks. So I waz like running around Japan fighting all these trainers with no guns or killstreaks whatsoever.
The pokemon didn’t even die when I kicked their asses. I’m so dissapointed. Dis game is not scary at all. I’m still gonna keep dis journal though so you people can learn from me and my mad Cod skillz.
23 September 2013
So anywayz after school waz over I played sum more Cod (Protip: Kill everyone) and had some sex with my sexy GF (who is hot, unlike your mom).
In da evening I decided to play some more of dat old game because mabye it was still scary somewhere. So wen I started up the Game dere was only one pokemon left in my collection. I fuckin cursed becaus now all my progress in diss shitty game was lost. The only Pokemon that I had was...
GHOST!!1! who was totally unlike the ghosts in CoD.
I was so scared I shit my pants except I didn’t because i’m cool like that. His only attack was DEATH. Wen I used it all da pokemon instantly died. But not just like that. THey let out HYPERREALISTIC SCREAMS while crying TEARS OF HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD! I was gettin kinda scared but tha game was a lot cooler now because dere was blood.
I noticed dat wen teh pokemon died, I could kill da trainers as well, so I did and their heads exploded with HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD!!! This was really scary u guyz.
Since I and ghost basically killed everyone, I started going to these places called “Gyms” that are not like gyms at all cuz I couldn’t fuckin lift anything.
Their kind of like the bosses in the Cod SP Campaign except super easy cuz I can just kill them all with Ghost. Pokemon was fucking boring so I quit after pwning like 5 gyms. Each time I killed a gym leader, 1/5353st of a second there came a frame of their face with BLOODY BLACK EYES screaming “WHY?”.
Btw, Lee has been acting really stupid lateley. He says he’s got all kinds of headaches and nausea, and he keeps talking about “Lavender Town” and “The nightmares, they’re excruciating”. Haha LOL what a pussy. He’s crying in his room right now, I’m gonna go and scare him.
Some more COD tips: Always pick Hardline as your first perk so every1 dies by your l33t killstreaks.
24 September 2013
So I playd some more POKeMON today (that’s how you spell it aparently) and pwnd some more gym leaders. I had to tone the volume down because of all the HYPERREALISTIC SCREAMS, And the blood graphics were so
HYPERREALISTIC they drained my batteries so I had to ask my mom to get new ones. After pwning more trainers I came to a place called “Lavender Town”, that my lil bro was talking about.
When he herd the creepy theme music (which was PLAYED BACKWARDS), he came running into my room and told me to shut the Ds off, so I just LOL’d and told him to go and cry in his room. He became really wild, so my mom had to come and calm him. He’s really sick now LOL.
Everyone in Lavender Town was talking about ghosts in da ghost tower, so I decided tht maybe the scary part would finally come along. So I went into tha tower, killing everyonee and leaving pools of HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD! which was super scary. Aparently the trainerz there were morning for their lost pokemon, so I just Killed em all.
One time I waz talking to a trainer when he told me about a GHOST HAND behind my back, so I looked behind me but then I realised that he meant in the game, which I really knew all along. Eventually I reached da top of teh tower and I saw a textbox dat said…
MISSINGNO WANTS TO FIGHT!!11
By now I was really super scared you guys. But since I’m brave I just continued anywayz. So I just went into a fight with Missingno,
who lookd like some kind of I tried using DEATH on him, but it didn’t fuking work. Instead, he attackede me with an attack called DOOM 666 and killed me. When my caracter died, I herd a HYPERREALISTIC SCREAM come from the DS, followed by all kinds of super scary HYPERREALISTIC images, gutted cancer patients ON FIRE, women being RAEPED by pandas, and unborn fetuses being skinned alive while performing a satanic ritual.
WHen it ended, I was in a completely BLACK screen with no surroundings. I couldn’t do anything, so i shut off the game. That was the end of today’s SUPER CREEPY installment. (That REALLY happened!)
CoD tip of the day: Always kill your teammates in multiplayer so you get more points.
25
September 2013 september 2013
I didn’t feel like playing Pokemon today, because it’s all bugged and there still were no guns, but after 17 hours of Cod (yeah I do truancy because I’m cool) I got bored and decided to put da Ds back on.
I started back in teh black empty space, no idea were to go. Wen I looked at my badges, I saw dat I now had 666 Badges!!! which wasn’t supposed to happen until next week! (Yeah im that 1337) A shiver went down my spine not unlike when my bitch blowed me yesterday.
I checked my Pokemon and I saw GHOST was gone!!11! Instead, there were 5 unowns that spelled “I HATE” and a cindaquill named “YOU” which made me so angry that I threw da DS out of the window. My mom screamed I had to get it which I did. Bitch.
So for the rest of da afternoon I just played sum more CoD. I’m going for my 16th prestige rite now. One time I got shot by
some cowardous camper so I ritefully called him a dirty cuck haha noobs. Only assault riflers camp, l33t snipers like me can actually run around.
Oh yeah and my bro Lee committed suicide today. He jumpd out of the window and dey found him dead on da ground soon after. Kinda sad I guess. My mom came into my room and told me when I was just having a killstreak, so I cursed at her for breaking it. Bitch.
So anywayz dat was it fr today. Tomorrow da update is gonna be short because of my bro’s funeral. Life sucks.
CoD tip of da day: Don’t play the singleplayer campayn, it’s boring as fuck and dere’s no killstreaks.
26 september 2013
During da funeral I was able to get da Ds and play sum more Pokemon. This time, I had 6 unowns that spelled “NOMORE” which was weird cuz it waz different yesterday. I still had 666 badges.
Anywayz, the whole game was fuckin boring cuz all I could do was walk into the dorkness. Da music at the funeral was also super boring, I wanted 2chainz but instead dere was some fucking borning pipe organ music.
So wen I waz walking downwards in POKeMON (C it’s speld correctly now) I saw dat mah body sprite was slowly disapearring, which was super scary, but I just walkd on like a pro. I tried to eat candiez to compensate fr my body loss but apparentlyy you can only feed dem to pokemon, which sux big time.
Wen my sprite like totally dissapreard, it waz replaced by a new one : it looked like ME!!! (i knew this cuz the sprite was super maschuline like ghost in CoD 4). I checked mah inventoree again and dis time I had 5 unowns spelling THEEND. I never knew theese crappy pokemon games were so short though. I had to turn off mah DS becaus da funeral had ended.
I couldn’t play moar pokemon wen I was back home, because my mom waz crying and she didn’t want us to forget about Lee so quickley. Fucking bitch. The rest of the day I played sum more CoD and in da evening my bro Clyde (he’s not a real bro, bro, but I call him bro) dropped by and we went to a party. We got fuckin drunk and I fucked like 20 girls unlike you lonely cucks. We also did pot and coke. Shit was SO CASH!!!
CoD tip of thee day: Don’t play Battlefield. Battlefield is fuckin hard and it fucking suks
27 september 2013
Today in school I fucked with da teacher. He asked me: “Jesse Compton, you were supposed to make assignments 20 up to 25 for today. I’m afraid I have to...”
“Suck my dick?” I screamed provocativly.
He sighed. “Jesse, I know that you must be upset about your brother’s death, but really this sort of behaviour...”
“LOL but this shit is so lame, I need more dope exercises!”
“Jesse, I’ll see you in detention.”
Every1 thinks I’m cool now. So after school I put on da ds for moar pokemon. I was walking down wen da dorkness ended and I saw... another trainer! I was ready to kick his ass with my unowns wen he attacked me!!! And i read:
LEE WANTS TO FIGHT!
Dis was super scary because I thought my bro waz dead and I’d never have to hear his anoying voice again! Da sprite looked just like him with his lame haircut! He looked sad as he send out GHOST!!! That fucking
traitorous cuck! Anywayz I found out unowns are fucking useless because GHOST killed em all with one hit.
Then Lee starred at me with his pale white face (which looked super real btw), saying “WHY DID YOU LET ME DIE?” which I could actually hear thru da DS!!! I saw flashes off al da people I had pwned in pokemon behind him, cryiing BLOOD n moaning evil BACKWARDS chants.
Then Lee pointted at me and GHOST came out of the screen and started haunting da house! I waz fucking scared and ran down the steps, but RED HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD came splashing down the walls. I called my mom.
“Mom! Ghosts! Run!”
My mom looked at me scepticallicy until she saw da
floor flooding with blood and GHOST cuming down da stairs wailing: “Boooo, BOOOOOO!!!”
Me and my parents ran out of da house and we saw how it floodeded with blood. Eventually the cops came by and we told them that we all had nosebleeds at da same time. We’re in a motel now and Dad tels me we’re gonna get a new house. I hope so cuz I’m fuckin tired of this shit.
CoD tip of the day: Use the fuckin rocket launchers, as ur third weapon. It kills every1!
1 october 2013
I live in a new house now with ma parents, wich sux because now I can’t talk to my cool friends any moar. I still think of mah old life with cool friendz and my fucking brothr and da game. I’ll never forget how scary it was! So if you’re near an abandoned house, be fucking careful!
CoD tip of the day: Don’t buy CoD: Ghosts cuz GHOST might be in it!!!